Coach Jack Says

In refrence to the only teacher I've ever had who answered the door with, "What the fuck do you want ?!?"


Coach Jack, resident Health Teacher at LBJ HighSchool (Science Academy) in Austin, Texas, USA has said many a eliquestly stated ideas. Here I have sought ot document his many asundry of thoughts and statesments so that the world will always know the man who is Couch Jack.

A note on orginazation: First the quote, then the context for possable uses

A note on unfamiler words: For those words that may be unknown to those reading this list I have provided the equivlents in brackets ("[]") and full definitions when needed.


  1. "You know what I mean!" -All Purpose
  2. "You gonna keep yo' [your] hands on top the desk!" -Preamle to every Sex Ed. Videos
  3. "I don't want no rotten fish smell" -In refrence to possable activities during Sex Ed. Video's
  4. "The coyb [curb] said go right, but he just said, 'Ah no, I gonna go straight' " -Junkie driver that drove into his house.
  5. "I ain't gonna give you yo' [your] papah' [paper], cuz I know yo' just gonna roll it" -To Resident pot head.
  6. "If you see houses start to disapea' [disapear], pack yo' [your] bags and leave!" -In refrence to Resident Fat guy's eating Habbits.
  7. "Someboy do me a favor and step on a cock-roach, and take it's head and stick in this boy ear so he'll have a brain!" -In Refrence to possable "stupid" people
  8. "Coach dun [???] likes that BlueBell! Don't give me no artifical crap!" -In refrence to eatign healthy
  9. "All dem silly kind o' thing u-ah [you all] put together" -???
  10. "[????????????????]" -Nobody knows
  11. "That's just a bunch of Gobbly Gock" -In refrence to varous things.
  12. "I could go out and teach my own, but they'd just fall asleep and go outside and smell each others butts." -In refrence to having to teach in the required fashion
  13. "You ain't got many teeth, you gonna be in bad luck!" -Taking care of your teeth
  14. "I was always a post-toasty man!" -In regard to his likings in cerial
  15. "The word is MasteCait, not MasterBait!" -Short vocabulary lesson
  16. You go in there; for $0.13 they give you a pure lard. Shit, they just givin' it away!" -In regard to Saturated fats.


Old School Coté